Session 2 / Playlist

The Lesser Violence Reading Group ‘20

Shared by Akani Shimange

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TRIGGER WARNING:

Content note in linked pieces for: explicit sex, violent body imagery, surgery, needles and scars, mentions of illnesses, mention of car-crash analogy, non-binary erasure, homonormativity and descriptions of hypothetical transphobia. Content note in poem for: sex, violent body imagery and scars, as well as imprisonment imagery implying systemic cissexism/transphobia.

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As a queer person who has struggled with labels, understanding their functions and at the same time their limitations, I have found and understood how much these identities provide me with safety and belonging, which I appreciate. But, I also struggle with how they box me in and require me to participate in the world within the limitations of how society has understood these identities.

I came across these pieces and songs on days when I was exhausted with how people, even those I considered friends, had battled with my identity and the way I present – I am read as male or at least trans masc but I am none of these – on most days I am too exhausted to explain this. My playlist has felt like it was written and recited/sang by a close friend, and their words have given me warm hugs on days when I needed them the most. 

As I listened to Travis Alabanza begin their TED Talk with a piece from “Before I step Outside [You love me]” I felt like a friend was saying to me: “Before I fetch these people who have hurt you, let me hold space for you. And now doll, let me fetch them”.

Gabe Moses beautifully elaborates on a saying that’s thrown around in queer circles “hearts not parts” in this piece How to Make Love to a Transperson:

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Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are

They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts

And honestly, they can barely contain us

We strain at their seams with every breath we take

We are all pulse and sweat,

Tissue and nerve ending

We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.

Bodies have been learning each other forever.

It’s what bodies do.

They are grab bags of parts

And half the fun is figuring out

All the different ways we can fit them together;

All the different uses for hipbones and hands,

Tongues and teeth;

All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.

But we could never forget how to use our hearts

Even if we tried.

That’s the important part.

Don’t worry about the bodies.

They’ve got this.

Lee Mokobe takes us on a journey of the intersections of being trans and religious, and reminds me of how many times as a little human I tried to pray the gay away. He details something so beautiful and painful at the same time: the journey of becoming.

And finally, this piece by Ray Stoeve sums up my frustrations with society, but also when he says: “Note to self, making yourself visible does not mean you will be seen.” I felt that.

Akani Shimange

Akani Shimange is a black agender queer person that has been involved in sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics work for almost a decade. They are driven by their passion for improving the lives of transgender and gender variant individuals, especially young people. As a trans gender individual, Akani truly enjoys organizing around gender diversity to affect social change. They founded Matimba in 2018 after years of working with and for organisations that do trans specific work in South Africa.

“I have two passions in this life, questioning the relevance of binary, cis-hetro normative systems and learning from children. Matimba allows me to do both those things everyday.”